nursingforsocialjustice

Nursing is a practice-based discipline. Sometimes I reflect on my understanding (or maybe acceptance) that it isn’t the same as a social science or a humanity. I started university when I was 17. In high school I loved existentialism. I was all about questioning why we were here, what the meaning of life was, and why we did any of it. When I started university I thought I was going to be a doctor. When that didn’t work out I thought I was going to be a clinical psychologist. When that didn’t work out I thought I was going to be a sociologist. What does that even mean? I thought I was going to be a full-time academic studying gender inequality and deviance. When I began to suspect that might not work out I applied to nursing school (by “nursing school” I mean a university-based baccalaureate degree program nursing nursing which is the entry to practice level for Registered Nurses in all of Canada except Quebec). Imagine my surprise when I liked nursing, a super gendered profession that had a philosophical basis in gender stereotypes. Or so I thought.

I never lost my desire to fight for the underdog. I never lost my desire to question why deviants are labeled as deviants, why we live in a risk society or my fight for gender equity. I wanted things to be different when I was 21 and interviewing women in punk bands, and I still want things to be different as a 38 year old struggling to finish a PhD in nursing, a degree program they you think would be most likely to support women wanting o pursue academia. I have had some harsh a-ha moments since embarking on my PhD research. To my horror (suppressed expectation?) the academic world does not open working mothers with open arms of support to help them break through that glass ceiling. Instead it’s more of the same, and teaching us how to play the game instead of showing us how to call “bullshit” and flip over the game-board to make our own damn game.

Is this a love affair with a wanting to be the underdog, running up a hill to prove something…to someone? Sometimes I take a step back and think about how likely it is that I will have a significant role in changing a system full of people who want more of the same. Or is it just the sight of winter coming and me wanting to hibernate?

Love,

Michelle D.