nursingforsocialjustice

The sun in shining. Spring is around the corner. Arbitrary measurements of time are passing and I feel oddly stalled out. Do you ever ever fleeting moments of doing something completely different with your life? I have fantasies of being a soap maker and professional crafter. I have not done either one of those things ever. So, what’s really going on in my big beautiful brain?

I passed my comprehensive exam. That is (from what I hear) an important milestone in the journey of a PhD student. But…is it? For this PhD student (picture my two thumbs pointing firmly towards me) it has marked a profound paralysis in moving ahead with anything related to my PhD.

Do you ever feel paralyzed by achievement? Or by the idea of achieving something? What’s that about?

What is the baby step approach to move forward through this without feeling overwhelmed? Is there some sort of support group I can join? Being a PhD student is lonely, which seems strange because my partner is also doing their PhD. I feel stalled out while it seems like he is charging ahead. Is that only in my mind?

Love,

Michelle D.

P.S. fake accents are curious.

I’m going to let you in on a secret. I watch a lot of television. It’s near my favourite thing. Television is such a magical reflection of the social mores and contrast between different countries. I have many life projects that involve watching television.

P.S.S.

Here are some words of wisdom. Drugs are not bad. I’m going to tell you another secret. I’ve done drugs in my life. I have made plenty of decisions that could have led to death, but didn’t. I have done plenty of things that I hope none of my children will not do but if they do them I hope they tell me about it. I have felt terrible about myself, I have felt terrible about life. We don’t talk about stuff like this in healthcare, not in a way that isn’t some sort of cautionary tale or some inspirational story. Substances are substances. There’s nothing inherently good or bad about them. Stop making people feel shitty for their decisions.